


Dance With the Devil in the Aftermath and Other Syrios Poems

by cristobalrios



Series: The Incident [1]
Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Angst, Drowning, Gay S'vec Sylar, Hurt/Comfort, La Leyenda del Caleuche, La Pesadilla del Caleuche, Llamada de la Sirena, M/M, PTSD, Pansexual Cristóbal Rios, Poetry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, The Incident, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cristobalrios/pseuds/cristobalrios
Summary: A collection of my Syrios poems.
Relationships: Cristóbal Rios/Original Male Character(s), Cristóbal Rios/S'vec Sylar, Cristóbal Rios/S'vec Sylar (Original Male Character)
Series: The Incident [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743418
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Dance with the Devil in the Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [llamada De La Sirena](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24237487) by [Telas_Selar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telas_Selar/pseuds/Telas_Selar). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Free-verse poem, M/M, established Rios/Vulcan OC who is his CMO and before Picard's crew, only other living person on La Sirena permanently.
> 
> Rios and his bondmate find comfort in each other after a terrible "Incident" among the crew leaves everyone on La Sirena on edge and trying to recover. AU where Zhaban came with Picard on La Sirena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still very new to posting my work on AO3 so I'm a bit nervous but I do have more things in the works, full fics (including drabble collections and multi-chaptered fics) not just poetry but since I already have this, why not post it here. Originally posted on Tumblr, like my other one. Down below I probably have way more details than you want but an explanation for this is there if you want it.

Quiet arguments in a mix of their tongues;

Late night discussions, debates until oh-dark thirty.

Tongues and minds loose from liquor and chocolate.

Fingertips gently brushed, neck, hair.

The dazzling way that muscles flex,

And the scent of liquor and cigars.

Minds connected, soul and katra one,

Thoughts are communicated in silent reverence

But no words spoken except to moan out to each other

Breathing hitched and hearts pounding,

Sending iron and copper swirling to meet the other’s touch.

Shared trauma, shared pain, shared suffering,

Traumas past flash through shattered minds,

One feels so deeply, carrying the other’s pain, sharing the burden;

The other provides stability, an anchor through his tempestuous thoughts.

Bodies united by pleasure, souls united by pain.

They lose themselves to find each other

Alienate themselves in their isolation,

The alien and the familiar, old love, new territory.

Gentle touch, lips, exploring the constellation of scars.

Tenderness and kindness bestowed upon where they’ve never gone before.

Green dots of broken vessels charted his exploration – pain caused by love;

Love by pain, made up for by quiet conversation and ice upon bare skin--

Until their need grows too strong and thoughts incoherent.

Thoughts telepathized in euphoric bliss;

Oh Captain, my Captain, _ashayam_

 _Taluhk nash-veh k’dular,_ I cherish thee,

 _Te amo, t’hy’la_ , a mix of tongues and caressing hands

The silence only broken by the gentle purr of a lover and a starship’s engine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU s1e8 "Broken Pieces" - Zhaban came with Picard on La Sirena. Also Hugh Lives AU but that's not relevant for this particular situation. A part of "The Incident" series of roleplay threads and fics from my friend group on Tumblr (cristobalrios, plaktow-ed - Telas_Selar on AO3, ncthingstars/ofgoodconscience, and agnespjurati - Talvenhenki on AO3) started by Telas_Selar's fic "Dance With The Devil"
> 
> Sylar confronted Picard (while choking him in warning) about his behavior towards Rios when Rios was suffering from his PTSD after Soji beamed aboard (during "Broken Pieces" read the fic "Dance With The Devil" by Telas_Selar for details of this confrontation). Zhaban defended Picard by attacking Sylar, triggering Sylar's conditioning from being tortured and brainwashed by the Tal Shiar when he was a POW (from ncthingstars and plaktow-ed's thread on Tumblr). Cris takes care of Sylar after "The Incident." What follows is a lot of bonding, a lot of comforting, and the two of them actually (telepathically) talking things out for once and going farther in their relationship than they have ever gone before. This is a poetic retelling of parts of this very long thread between me (cristobalrios) and plaktow-ed on Tumblr, and this is probably way more explanation than necessary.


	2. When the Wind is Rough and a Storm's Coming In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poem based on Telas_Selar's fic llamada De La Sirena, from Cris's POV.
> 
> "During an accidental time warp back to the 17th century, Captain Cristóbal Rios and his Vulcan lover join a pirate crew and encounter one of the eeriest legends of old Earth in the flesh."

When the sirens call and all I can see  
Is the allure of the ocean’s depths,  
You will be there to keep me from the sea’s icy clutch  
As the others all leap to their deaths.

Though I’m chained to the mast and you’re tied up on shore,  
And the sirens are circling around,  
You’ll fight, tooth and nail, to get to me on the ship  
To free me when I’m bound.

You’ll take the wheel when I’ve lost all my strength,  
To save us from the allure of their song.  
You will take us far away from their grasp  
To where we can both be strong.

When the wind is rough and a storm’s coming in,  
I know you’ll be by my side.  
You’ll hold my hand when we’re lost at sea  
And drifting with the tide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S'vec Sylar belongs to Telas_Selar, and so does the fic this poem was based on.


	3. Sea and Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheesy Syrios poem I wrote at 6 a.m. on no sleep. Originally posted on Tumblr on May 23rd, 2020.

You are the siren song that calls me to danger,  
You are the land that calls me home.  
You are the sea that calls me to adventure.  
You are the compass that guides where I roam.  
You are the wind in my sails that propels me forward,  
You are the map that assures I do not get lost.  
You are the anchor that grounds me until we go onward,  
You are the sails that are tousled in tempest tossed.

You are like the stars that shine in the night,  
Surrounded by darkness but full of light.  
Your flame could kill but instead it brings life,  
And continues to burn no matter the strife.  
The space around you is dark and deadly,  
They say that space is old and empty.  
It is nothing but unfeeling and cold,  
But I see the beauty in what I hold.

You are nothing at all like what you seem,  
And knowing you has made me dream.  
They’ll never know you like I do,  
There’s a beauty and depth inside of you,  
So complex and intricate they can’t understand  
The feelings I get when you hold my hand.  
So, my t'hy'la, my love, ignore their lies,  
And we’ll be together until the end of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used the line "You are like the stars that shine in the night, surrounded by darkness but full of light" on my Mirror!Syrios edit.


	4. Bonded Over the Idea that They Would Die Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huge suicide trigger warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from something Dean said in a headcanon post submitted to me on Tumblr saying: "Emmett in Spanish while badly translated subtitles play because it’s a parody of The Office, it’s meant to be a mess: I left the fire alarm on to see what would happen and they just bonded over the idea that they would die together."

You fear that my love for you is a form of self-destruction  
In the only way I can deliberately cause myself harm;  
Indirectly, through recklessness and an irresistible urge to embrace the dangerous  
Because my hands physically refuse to move  
When I try to reach for the pistol with the intention of using it on myself.

And I’ll admit – to myself, at least,  
That I’ve dreamt of kissing you  
When you still have poison on your lips  
That you’re immune to, but would destroy me.  
Poison you drink for your curiosity, or to protect me.

I’ll admit, in the dark corners of my mind,  
That your killer’s touch, deceptively gentle  
May be alluring, may get my heart racing at the knowledge  
That one touch from your beautiful, skilled, gentle hands could end it all in a moment.  
But instead you use them to caress my face and massage my hands,  
To touch my hair and heal my wounds,  
To protect me from my enemies and bring my coffee in the mornings,  
And all the countless forms of gentle intimacy we engage in every day.

I am not immune to the siren call of this doomed love,  
I can’t imagine us having a happy ending because I know you yearn to end your life  
I know you think it would be better for me, and you are so tired,  
But it would be the end of me. And maybe I want that. I am tired too.  
Maybe I am waiting for something that will push me over the edge  
Allow me to break through this mental block from the images seared into my brain.

And I would gladly step over the edge with you.  
Sink deep into the sea until we can no longer breathe  
Or float out into space forever preserved in your embrace  
But I don’t want you doing it without me.  
I can’t bear to hold your lifeless corpse in my arms,  
So if you ever give into that urge, please, I beg you;  
Don’t leave me behind. Take me with you into whatever comes next.  
Whether it is another realm or the sweet oblivion of nothingness,  
A true empty void like the space I engulf myself in  
The only way I can finally get any rest.

We’ve worked hard and built our love strong  
We have each other, can rely on and trust each other.  
You say it is illogical to build such an intricate sandcastle so close to the shore.  
Why put in all that work if the tide will soon come in and destroy it, you ask.  
But the destruction is a part of the beauty of it. You can’t understand that,  
But the fact that it won’t last forever is a crucial part of that ephemeral beauty.  
Soon the tide will come in and destroy our sandcastle,  
Soon we will collapse our intricate house of cards  
And knock over that first domino, sending all the others tumbling down  
In a beautiful ripple effect of destruction of hours of carefully laid plans  
Set up by steady, loving, dedicated hands, and _that’s the whole point._  
That beautiful end is the part that brings satisfaction; a sense of resolution. A sense of peace.

I want it to be by our hands. Our choice. If you are intent on ending your own life,  
And I know that urge is there and strong and something you fight with but that won’t go away,  
If you are intent on ending your own life, then do it with me.  
Together, side by side, as we should always be. Let us end our lives professing our love.  
I want your face to be the last thing I see, your voice to be the last thing I hear,  
I want to feel your touch as your name and my love for you is the last thing that leaves my lips.  
I want to die knowing you won’t miss me, that I won’t have to miss you.  
That we have each other through whatever comes next; I want to take that leap with you.  
So keep this in mind the next time you get that urge, because I am coming with you.  
You better be prepared for that, because we are going into the unknown together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S'vec Sylar belongs to Telas_Selar and these two are a mess.


	5. La Leyenda del Caleuche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the Syrios thread of the same name on Tumblr.

Slowly I felt I lost my mind.  
What did I expect to find?  
To see you as the ships collide  
And find you waiting on the other side?

The storm rages on and their song calls to me,  
Luring me in to drown in the sea.  
I don’t know why I thought I might find you there  
But I felt I’d regret it if I didn’t dare.

On this eve before the hallowed saints  
And lost loved ones are honored, I have no restraint  
My love is beside me, loyal and strong,  
Trying to keep me away from their song.

He doesn’t understand what I need to do  
That the only way to get to you  
Is to throw myself into the ocean deep  
And let her gently lull me to sleep.

But when I do, will I find you there?  
To rescue me from the depths of despair?  
On this night when lost loved ones are near,  
Will you come to me, will I find you here?

But this won’t change what happened to you.  
You won’t come back no matter what I do.  
You didn’t drown in the sea, you took your own life,  
Did Caleuche still come for you in the night?

Did La Sirena guide your soul to her mast,  
Will I ever be able to make up for my past?  
When you drowned in your guilt, did she rescue your soul,  
And give you a place where you can still be whole?

Did she give you a second chance at life,  
Will I finally be released from my strife?  
Or did she enslave you to her decks forever?  
Would we be trapped with her here together?

But my love waits for me faithfully,  
I have someone true who is dear to me.  
I can't let him down when he gives me his heart,  
Even though I'm so close to falling apart.

I'll be strong for him, so maybe I'll try  
To guide you to be here by my side,  
We'll meet again, but just for tonight,  
When I finally see those sails of white.

But after that we will say goodbye,  
And my love and I will return to the sky,  
Knowing you have found a home,  
And you'll be watching us wherever we roam.


	6. La Pesadilla del Caleuche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up poem to La Leyenda del Caleuche

Slowly I knew I lost my mind.  
Why did I expect to find  
You ready to absolve my sins,  
And waiting there to let us in?

Did I think that I could make things right,  
Finally make up for what happened that night?  
Instead I bound you to this fate,  
My attempts to reconcile would be too late.

My desire to reconnect with my past,  
And put you to rest at last,  
Made you appear as an enemy  
When I should have been honoring your memory.

I knew the stories, and thought she’d be kind,  
Not knowing she fed off of my mind  
Appearing as what I expected from her;  
Her manifestations a twisted mirror

Reflecting my own thoughts back at me,  
Showing me what I wanted to see.  
But my mind is so twisted and filled with despair,  
This dream could only be a nightmare.

She showed me what I thought I'd deserve  
To make me bend to her will and to serve  
Trying to manipulate my mind  
So my soul to her I would willingly bind.

Why would I be so naïve?  
Only seeing what I want to believe?  
With everything we’ve been through  
Caleuche, I still had faith in you.

But that was just the faith of a boy,  
That has had all he loves ripped away and destroyed  
Who clung to one last thread of hope  
Of having a father to help me cope.

I endangered everything I held dear,  
Just for the chance of finding you here.  
I dragged him here and put him through hell,  
The man I should put above all else.

And without a thought he followed me  
And when I was trapped, fought for me to be free.  
I know I can always depend on his love,  
He is the one who was sent from above.

Captain, I must let you go  
To break from her spell I must tell her no,  
He's the only one I trust with my soul,  
My mind and my heart, and all my control.


	7. Come to Me in the Dark of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris occasionally has an unhealthy coping mechanism in the holodeck after his encounter with the sirens in Llamada de la Sirena. Inspired by said fic by Telas_Selar.
> 
> TW: Suicide ideation, actually, not an actual attempt, drowning, suffocation, asphyxiation, trauma, intrusive thoughts, PTSD, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Weightless, floating,   
Nothing but stars in his line of sight.  
Breathless, choking,  
His limbs are numb, with no will to fight.

His lungs burn as they scream for air,  
His vision blurs and the view is stunning.  
He feels the wind blow through his hair.  
He comes here alone when he feels like running.

If he could hold on a few seconds more,  
His consciousness would slip away.  
And he’d be passed out on the floor,  
A state he’d wished he’d be able to stay.

“Come to me in the dark,” they said  
“When the sea is clear and cold.”  
Their song plays repeatedly in his head,  
As he tries to do as he’s told.

He plunges himself beneath the surface,  
The water is cold upon his skin.  
For a fleeting moment he can see her face  
Lifelessly staring back at him.

His mind is clouded and full of song  
They tell him to join them in his death.  
He’s almost there, but he can’t hold on.  
His lungs scream out as he takes a breath.

But no water chokes him as he breathes in.  
Though he wanted none, air brings relief,  
For this is merely a simulation  
Of what he craves but cannot achieve.


	8. Come Hell or High Water

I’ll be there for you, come hell or high water,  
I’ll be there for you, for better or worse.  
In the midst of battle, through the danger and slaughter,  
Know that I will always put you first.

You’re the one to whom I pledge my soul,  
My body, mind and heart are yours.  
I will always consider your wise counsel,  
Whether we are at home or on distant shores.

I make this vow of love to you,  
This unbreakable vow of devotion.  
To the love of my life, I say “I do,”  
With dedication and emotion.

Your loyalty to me is strong,  
You love with complexity, intricately.  
I’ve felt your whole katra like a song,  
And the essence of your mind so intimately.

You opened me up to an entire universe  
Hidden inside of your mind,  
Filled with trauma and pain and things far worse,  
But you’re endlessly curious and kind.

I want to get to know you as deeply as I can,  
To you I’ll bind my mind and soul.  
I trust you with everything I am,  
You’re the love of my life and my equal.


	9. A Love Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've heard of Spanglish, now get ready for: Spulcan.  
> Cris has the habit of speaking in both Spanish and Vulcan to Sylar, or combining their two native tongues in various ways. This is a poem in alternating Vulcan and Spanish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> 1\. Writing poetry in a language I've only been studying for a year is hard.  
> 2\. Writing poetry in a fictional language that has quite a bit but not everything to make it actually functional is hard.
> 
> But here's the attempt anyway.

**Spulcan (Alternating Vulcan/Spanish):**

_Taluhk nash-veh k’dular, k’diwa  
Te aprecio con toda mi alma  
Nash-veh fonn tor tu, t’hy’la  
Así que tómame de la palma_

**Standard (Slightly Cleaned Up Translation):**

_I cherish thee, my heart and soul*  
I cherish thee* with all my soul  
I am loyal to you, my love  
So take me by the palm_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * "K'diwa" is short for the Vulcan term "k'hat'n'dlawa" which means "Other half of my heart and soul"  
> * Probably closer to "I appreciate you" but it's the closest approximation for the Vulcan form of I love you (which is usually translated as "I cherish thee") I could come up with.


End file.
